Please and Thank You

Some languages have no equivalent word for ‘please’. ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ may be more commonly expressed through actions and attitudes than words.

Yes and No

Non-western languages are often less direct. To refuse someone’s invitation, for example for a meal, may be considered rude. A person may answer ‘Yes’ out of respect and the wish not to offend, without any intention of actually taking up the offer. However, in a hospitality situation it is common to refuse an offer initially, for example of a cup of tea or food; the offer may need to be repeated or emphasised to demonstrate that it is genuinely meant. Asking less direct questions and giving space for alternatives can be helpful.

Volunteering

Some countries have no culture of volunteering and so there may be a misunderstanding (which we will endeavour to dispel from the outset) that hosts are paid employees rather than receiving a hosting allowance – perhaps funded by the Home Office.

Pets (see further on this below)

Some cultures would consider household pets, in particular dogs, as unclean. We will always discuss this with potential guests before a placement is arranged. Times for prayer These are often more rigidly adhered to in Islam than some other religions.

Religious Festivals

It is helpful if hosts can try to familiarise themselves with the main festivals associated with the faith of the guest placed with them. If in doubt, discuss with Hope at Home staff. Food Most will be aware of the different food laws within each religion. Muslims and Jews will not eat pork products; most Hindus are vegetarian; practising Muslims eat Halal meat. Likewise, some practising Muslims, Hindus and Sikhs will not be happy to eat food cooked in pots used for beef or pork. This clearly has significant implications for eating together and storage of fresh meat, which hosts will need to agree with their guests from the start. The use of cutlery is an eccentric western custom to some. Hosts need to be aware of the fasting rules during Ramadan also, when no food or drink is taken between dawn and dusk. It must be said however that food has not caused any insurmountable issues for hosts or guests to date.

Personal hygiene

Washing, rather than using toilet paper, is the norm for many Muslims after using the toilet. It may help to provide a jug for this purpose. It may also be helpful to explain the different uses of the bewildering array of soaps, foams, gels, etc that are found in most bathrooms!

Losing face

“To make a mistake and admit it is to make two mistakes”. This Middle Eastern saying well illustrates the philosophy behind shame. The public admission of wrongdoing is considered more shameful than the act itself. Westerners confront a wrong-doer, Easterners try to save his/her face.

Timekeeping

“The West has the clock and the East has the time”. Some other cultures attach much less importance to punctuality than we do in the West. Being late for an appointment may not infer disrespect, simply that something perceived as of greater importance (perhaps helping a friend) has intervened.

Talking about personal faith

Whilst Hope at Home asks that hosts do not seek to use their role as an opportunity to try to convert others to their own particular faith, it recognizes that in many other cultures it is much more acceptable to discuss openly spiritual issues and religious practice. We do not seek to discourage this. It may sometimes be helpful also to discuss British culture and traditions with guests.

One final thought: if you do not already know much about a new guest’s home country, it can be helpful to do an internet search before they arrive; print out a map or find it in an atlas, so that they can show you where they lived.